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National Novel Writing Month is supposed to be a crazy growth exercise for would-be writers - but it may have stunted mine.
I first discovered NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month, as a teen. It was magical - this idea that I, along with people from all over the world, would take on the absurd challenge of writing a novel in a single month. And every October 31, I'd sit down excitedly with my pile of Halloween candy and notebook and wait 'til the clock struck midnight to begin scribbling the humble beginnings of my story.
Every year, I'd fail. It didn't stop me. Finally, in 2013 the circumstances were perfect. I was taking a part-time college load and spending a lot of time waiting around for rides, so each day I'd sit in the campus Starbucks with my laptop and knock out my daily 1600 words. And for once, it was working. The people around me thought it was eccentric. I was writing a novel in a month, 50k words by November 30.
If you're cool, being eccentric is probably a bad thing. But in my circles, eccentric was its own kind of cool. The attention from my friends and professors was fun, except that people started talking about wanting to read my story. And it was becoming really obvious that my story wasn't readable. Of course rough drafts never really are, but my story showed no indication of ever being readable. The plot line was faltering. I had outlined poorly and it was obvious I had absolutely no idea how to fill 50,000 words with a story that made sense and was even remotely engaging. I jumped on the NaNoWriMo "Challenges" forum because, by this point, it seemed totally sensible to spend 500 words introducing a random weasel into the plot.
According to the NaNoWriMo philosophy, this whole experience would make me a better writer. The premise of National Novel Writing Month is that, by adhering to such a crazy deadline, we shut up the inner editor that keeps us from ever just doing the thing. Or in this case, writing the novel. And I was writing, sure. But by the end, it was clear I was writing junk. And whether writing junk for four weeks made me a better writer is really debatable.
I had one experience to compare it to. There was this other time I'd become inspired to write fiction and I'd drive to the cafe down the street each morning before work. Every day, I'd write 500-1000 words, depending on what came to me. I never forced it, just writing and thinking about the story. If the story came to a halt, I'd take time and make notes and imagine. I loved the characters and was so excited to take the story where it would go. It went until its natural conclusion at around 20k words.
I spent so many years wanting the hype about NaNoWriMo to be true that I had a hard time admitting it wasn't really working for me. And who knows, maybe I'll have a future positive experience and learn something one crazy November. But for years, I haven't been able to go back at it. Because when I compare those Novembers to my more legit writing experiences, it seems kind of crazy - and not in a good way.
So to everyone who loves writing 1600 words a day and plotting by the seat of your pants and that works and is some kind of amazing growth experience that made you into the writer you are today? Sweet. I'm legit glad that has worked for you. I mean, hell, I love crazy ideas! That's why NaNoWriMo is so very intriguing. But if NaNoWriMo is a pipe dream that hasn't really panned out the way you'd hoped? Maybe it doesn't say anything about your future as a writer except that you're possibly cut out to write it in slightly more than a month. Maybe your story need a little space to breathe itself to life, and I think that's fair.
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